I wrote this shortly after Ellie was just born. Better late than never...
As most of my avid readers out there may know, Ellie was born at exactly 36 weeks. Because of her size and jaundice, we had to stay in the hospital a 3 extra days. For a mommy on bedrest, a few more days did start taking me over the edge. Fortunately, I had a husband who kicked me out of the hospital when Ellie was still a patient but I wasn't. Anyway, here's some thoughts I have had over the past week and a half.
1. I am one lucky lady. E is here, safe and sound. She's a spitter-upper, but we can deal with it.
2. My boy, J, is a strong kid. He has his emotional moments, but no greater than a regular 4 year old. He loves his sister, without malice toward the time that I was taken from him. He has grown up so much since I have been unavailable. And I love who he's becoming.
3. I have an amazing husband. Who would have thought 17 years ago I would pick someone who is the best man I know. I am just as in love with him as I was before. It's different. It will never be like when we were 16 or 20, but it is so much better than that.
4. I am stronger than I thought and I am impressed. I made it through 15.75 weeks of bedrest. I was alone when I got my epidural (and narcotic free). I cut my own kid's ambilical cord. I realize that I can do anything I put my mind to, even if it is extremely uncomfortable.
5. Another kid made me realize how great my love for Jack is.
6. I am riding the waves of stress better this time.
