So much to catch up on

Since Tuesday of this week, Curious J has been sick with a fever. No symptoms like vomiting or runny nose. Just fever, exhaustion, loss of appetite. So we have been out of school since Tuesday. Man, do I really need him to get well. He and BDR went to Convenient Care on Tuesday evening and then again today to followup about the fever. Here is where I mention that BDR has an irrational fear of menigitis. It really is irrational. But if this is really the only thing that he has, I can't really complain. Fortunately, J got to see his very best friend, Batboy, before he was quarantined. The bad news is we exposed Batboy to our illness. So far, no word on illness.

Now as for Little Miss Blue Eyes, she has been making more amazing strides on the development front. She can now sit up and kneel tall in her bed. So on Tuesday, she graduated to a lower crib status. She is getting those two top front teeth finally.

However, BE has been taking off her glasses almost everytime they are put on her now. Sigh. Her eyes have not shown improvement, even when she was wearing the glasses everyday. So, I have contacted my insurance company and the St. Louis Children's Hospital to get a second opinion. It's likely that her next step is surgery, and if it is, I want a highly recommended second opinion that happens to be tied to an excellent hospital. One of the teacher's at J's school took her son to this doctor and had wonderful things to say.

And in case she needs more stuff on her plate, BE has been having these staring episodes. She also has been grabbing her right eye and the back of her head since I can remember. After talking with her d.t., I set up an appointment with her pediatrician. While she is not concerned for immediate action she would like to get an EEG (to monitor brain activity). She has referred us to a pediatric neurologist in Springfield, and she also wants me to talk to the pediatric ophthamologist we are meeting with on Thursday in St. Louis to see if it is related to her eye issues. I really want all this to be as resolved as quickly possible so she can start feeling even better than she already is. We have made huge strides, but there is more to resolve. Think of us as we go to the doc on Thursday. Friday is her pediatric gastroenterologist appointment in Springfield. And then Jack's birthday is that weekend.

It's going to be a crazy few days. It is not the Rogers' way. ;P

What a mother of a day.

Today's sentiment is beautiful. Appreciate your mother. For some of us who are a little bit shitty to our mothers, it is a good reminder to thank them for the sacrifices they have made and gifts they have given to us. To note, I have a mother who is so super loving that sometimes I feel smothered. But, and this is a huge but, this woman would do almost anything for me. She has my back. And I think the reason she does what she does is because she loves us so much that she would rather take any pain we experience away. This includes making suggestions, calling all the time... you get the idea. I love you, too, mom.

But today makes me sad. It reminds me of my loss as a mother. And because of that loss, I feel much more aware of the pain that this day may bring to others. As some celebrate, others are reminded of their loss, or their struggles to grow a child in their bodies or adopt a child. Some are looking at the clock wondering when their lives will line up just right, so that they can experience motherhood themselves. I am thinking of them today. I would love for them to get exactly what they want. I know that is not possible for everyone, so I hope they find peace and joy in their lives.

I love my kids. I love my husband. This job is hard, but I don't ever want to know life without it.