My Girl

This is my daughter. She may be daddy's girl, but she is all me in personality. My mom always said one day I would understand, and I do. She is headstrong, opinionated, mischevious and vocal. She drives me bonkers sometimes when she has her mind set on something and will embarass the holy shit out of me in public to let me know that I am not complying with her wishes. She is not a big hugger with her parents or brother. She screams. She has a short temper. And she is going to continue to challenge me everyday of our lives.

She is the most beautiful little girl I know. She can tell me what she wants with more words than a lot of kids her age. She loves trying to figure out where things belong. She loves to color and socialize out in public (just don't touch her). She is independent. She loves to dance and if you are lucky, she will serenade you with a song from time to time. And at bedtime, she will hold my hand (but that's it, people).

After all the phone calls from the principal at school in the future for pulling some other little girl's hair out (or spitting in another girl's hair like I did), she is going to grow up into a strong, smart, beautiful woman... I just need to make sure to encourage the right strengths. Piece of cake. ;)

And then, god help the person she marries. :P

WTF

When did my little boy become a kindergarten? Well, he did. Here is your proof.

He is doing well. I am not going to lie and say it was amazing. But I am not doing to be pessimistic and say it was awful. Curious J liked school this week. The first day was a shock with regard to the length. He told us at pickup, "I thought you guys were killed." But with a little explanation that that was what to expect each day, and that we would pick him up everyday at the same time, he felt better. We got him a watch, so he can understand a little bit more of how the day works. (You know, a five-year-old understanding.)

There have been some tears, but from what it sounds like, his teacher has done a fabulous job getting him back on track. Each day, he has come out of school a little bit better. When he talks of the moments of sadness, he does not dwell. And he talks about how much he likes his teacher. (She talks gentler than even DAD.) And from reports (from a reliable source), he was smiling and eating at lunch.

Today he said he was the only kid that needed help on something, and so that something was what we worked on at home during our homework time. That's right people, our kid is not perfect. And I don't want him to be. I like that he has do work for some things. It's a good life skill. And I like helping him learn.

So that is school. We ended the week going to our community corn festival. I've mentioned before that this time of year makes me think about the baby we lost. But I am happy to say that, even though the baby will never be forgotten, I found I was no longer sad. I found that I had replaced memories of sadness, with memories of joy.

Floorgasbord

Blue Eyes and Curious J are very different kids. Here is one example - eating. BE loves her food. She eats a larger variety of food. She ate solid foods from our plates at an earlier age. Food is a serious issue for her.

BE is so serious about her food that she leaves some for later. Like a little chipmunk who buries their food for late, BE drops hers on the ground. And pretty much immediately after you set her on the ground, she is working on course #2. And there waiting for her is her leftovers.

BDR has given our floor a name. The Floorgasbord.

A very best friend

Today we went to the Planetarium with Curious J's "very best friend", Batboy. They met last year at summer camp and were in the same class at preschool. It was a pretty instant friendship. I am happy my little person has found a buddy like Batboy. I don't know how time will effect them, but I know they both enjoying each other's company right now.

And so do their sisters.

Batboy's mom is fun to be around. So that makes it even more better.

Let Awesome J Be

So Curious J has been going to camp for the the last week and a half. Last week was Jr. Engineers. This week is Lego camp. Last week the kids were mostly - taller - than him. I would say older, but I know kids who are two years younger and the same height as J. This week, te kids are slightly taller, but seem mostly at the same learning level. My cute little napoleon-complex boy, being who he is from the parents he has, established his awesomeness early on.

The first day of camp, the camp leaders announced they would be giving out a Camper of the Day award to a kid who did an awesome job. J raised his hand and said "I'm J and I'm awesome." And so began his nickname of Awesome J at camp this summer.

Awesome J came back this week. I found him up against the window of his camp room with a piece of paper in his hand. He had been waiting there for my arrival to show me his certificate as "Camper of the Day".

I do worry about him. He can be sensitive at times. I am sure that having me around is a lot different than having other authority figures around. Sometimes, I wonder if he does better interacting and handling conflict with other kids better when I am not there. Today just reitterates that he does fine on his own.

As I was asking how J was doing last week, one of the camp leaders said he was doing just fine. I expressed my concern and she simply said to me, "Let Awesome J be." I need to follow that a little more I think.

So proud of you, Awesome Curious J.

A typical dinner with us

Last night we picked up my car and headed to our favorite Mexican restaurant in town. They have seen us over the last 9 years grow from two to three to four family members.

Curious J is very content playing on his phone and taking bites of his dinner here and there.














Blue Eyes is very content eating. However, notice that not everything goes in the mouth.

Love Bites

I feel like I am absent interwebs a lot these days. Blue Eye and I have been stuck to te hip most of the time these days. I love her, but a few breaks here and there help me maintan my patience and energy. She has been an inconsistent sleeper. Some nights she wakes up multiple times before I go to bed, others just once. That's just the first half of the night. Second half can go between zero and two wakeups. So if she doesn't wake up, I wake up out of habit and out of concern that she is still breathing. Needless to say, I am pooped.

But she is looking and doing well only two weeks after eye surgery. Her eyes are no longer red and she is starting to look much for frequently with her eyes lined up correctly. Look at a picture from today. Doesn't she look fabulous.



But don't be deceived by her. This little vixen knows how to ensnare her prey. I have been her first victim of being bitten, but a new victim has been taken in...
Curious J was giving her a hug, and suddenly she bit him on the cheek. Ahhh, that girl is so related to me. Just ask Auntie M. Here is the proof for the civil trial (Jaw line).

Sibling Love

When you have kids who are a few years apart, you wonder if they are going to be able to play today. Well, thanks to a baby safe toy Blue Eyes got for her birthday, Curious J and BE now how hours of fun together. For J it's a shooting game. For BE, it's a game of chase. A win for everyone. Last ones a video, so enjoy.

My little gymnast

Today we started gymnastics at the Y for Curious J. The boy is like a monkey climbing all over our house, so I decided to sign him up for a gymnastics class. Very basic for both boys and girls. He got to roll and jump and bounce. The boy loved it. Sure, it's the first class. But he didn't feel this way about soccer after the first class.

We'll see if this is the start of his career as an Olympic gymnist or if he will go back to his Starcraft practice for world championship. I will have to show him one of my favorite gymnastics movies - American Anthem.

Blue Eyes and BDR were also along for the event. BE did her usual thing. She saw a small piece of a Dorito and couldn't take her eyes off it. ;) Seriously, she is recooperating very nicely. Her eyes are still a little crossed and bloody, but they are improving and her spirits are as they always are. Sadly, so is her sleeping, which is utter crap.

Feeling a little vulnerable

Blue Eyes had surgery on her eyes yesterday. It was successful and while the first post-op wakeup was extrememly unpleasant, BE did amazingly well after that. She at my brownie when we got home but her right eye has more bright red blood in it... like someone punched her in the eye during one of her baby fight club matches. Her eyes are not matched up yet. Instead they have done the opposite and are cross eyed. Our doc said this is normal and it will take a couple of months for consistent normal vision.

I really struggled looking at her after surgery. It could have been from feeling guilty of putting her through the surgery only for her eyes to look worse afterwards. It would have been the anxiety that was built up to this day. It could have been worry that it may make things worse not better. I don't know. But when we got home, Curious J did not want to look at her or be in the same room as her. Fortunately, I am married to a very calm man who worked with J through his emotions. By dinner J was eating at the same table with her. Had I been the only parent handling his emotions he probably would still be hiding from BE.

I remembered what Quigs told me when I went on bedrest. I can feel bad/sorry for myself (and in this case, sorry for BE) for the first 24 hours, but after that, no more feeling sorry. And the funny thing was it actually worked for me (mind you, it does not work the same on a 5 year old). Today, I feel fine. A good nights sleep, a happy baby... I had readjusted my thinking. J is back to his normal self, too.

But sometimes when stuff is going on in my life, and I find that stuff is going on in other peoples lives around me, I feel blue, for lack of a better word. For me, there is no rhyme or reason to why things happen to people... why people die, pets die, people get sick with awful diseases, etc. I can't turn to faith to feel better. Instead it reiterates to me that "no one" is out there controling the universe, because if they were there, then I would instead be pissed as hell at him or her.

And so tonight, I send out positive, healing thoughts and energy to friends, acquaintances, and strangers who are feeling the stress of hard part of life. And hope that helps.

Stealing other people's work

It's been one of those days. I had a friend forward me this video at the end of the day. Made me cry with laughter. If you need a pick me up, feel free to watch. Enjoy.

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2010/04/06/wits-sweeney/

Summer Lovin', Lovin' Summer.

So, I usually hate summer, but things feel different this year. I want to get out and enjoy the company of others and the sunlit sky later in the day. Since Curious J and I have made some new friends over the last two years from school, we are having fun meeting up with people.

So far, here is what we have done since Tuesday:
1. Played at the park.
2. Attend a party hosted by a family from preschool.
3. Gone bowling with a friend.

For some of you, this is a normal week, but for us, this is craziness. I'm sure things will die down next week.

Enough talk, here are cute pictures.

Blue Eyes Update

So on Thursday we headed to the St. Louis Children's Hospital to get a second opinion on BE's eye condition, intermittent exotropia. Curious J was able to spend some quality time with the grandparents while we took E to the doctor. From what I understand, LEGOs were involved; so it had to be a good time.

Anyway, here is what we learned: BE's condition only has one option at this point. Surgery. We knew there was a good possibility this was going to happen, but we wanted to try a non-surgical treatment that might have helped before we jumped into surgery. However, the glasses she has did not help. She is only slightly farsighted within the normal range for her age, and so the doctor told us that it was pretty pointless to continue the glasses. We are hoping this is the only surgery she will need, but there is a 20-25% chance that she will need more than one operation. Fingers crossed she is in the 75-80% range.

On June 17, we will be going to St. Louis. From what my teeny tiny non-medical mind understands, they are going to be tighting one of the eye muscles so that it has to work with the other eye and not stay where it is and shut off. I don't really understand how they will pick which eye to operate on, but I trust that this is not the first time they have done this. I saw plenty of kids in the office that day who were the same or similar age as BE. And that is different than our first opinion. While we had no complaints about him, he did not seem to see as many children with more complicated optical issues.

It is out patient surgery - very low risk procedure. I am a little nervous about how she will respond to the anisthetic since it is her first time under the stuff. But I am a lot nervous about the fact that she is not allowed to eat after a certain time of night. This girl eats when she is hungry and when others are eating; she will not sit or play quietly until food is given to her.

The grandfolks are being kind enough to let us stay with them for two nights. We need to be there the day before and then we will leave the day after her surgery, as long as all is fine and good. The grandfolks, all four of them, are also watching J all day while we take BE there. It is fortunate that we have great parents so willing to help out and are close to where we are going.

So much to catch up on

Since Tuesday of this week, Curious J has been sick with a fever. No symptoms like vomiting or runny nose. Just fever, exhaustion, loss of appetite. So we have been out of school since Tuesday. Man, do I really need him to get well. He and BDR went to Convenient Care on Tuesday evening and then again today to followup about the fever. Here is where I mention that BDR has an irrational fear of menigitis. It really is irrational. But if this is really the only thing that he has, I can't really complain. Fortunately, J got to see his very best friend, Batboy, before he was quarantined. The bad news is we exposed Batboy to our illness. So far, no word on illness.

Now as for Little Miss Blue Eyes, she has been making more amazing strides on the development front. She can now sit up and kneel tall in her bed. So on Tuesday, she graduated to a lower crib status. She is getting those two top front teeth finally.

However, BE has been taking off her glasses almost everytime they are put on her now. Sigh. Her eyes have not shown improvement, even when she was wearing the glasses everyday. So, I have contacted my insurance company and the St. Louis Children's Hospital to get a second opinion. It's likely that her next step is surgery, and if it is, I want a highly recommended second opinion that happens to be tied to an excellent hospital. One of the teacher's at J's school took her son to this doctor and had wonderful things to say.

And in case she needs more stuff on her plate, BE has been having these staring episodes. She also has been grabbing her right eye and the back of her head since I can remember. After talking with her d.t., I set up an appointment with her pediatrician. While she is not concerned for immediate action she would like to get an EEG (to monitor brain activity). She has referred us to a pediatric neurologist in Springfield, and she also wants me to talk to the pediatric ophthamologist we are meeting with on Thursday in St. Louis to see if it is related to her eye issues. I really want all this to be as resolved as quickly possible so she can start feeling even better than she already is. We have made huge strides, but there is more to resolve. Think of us as we go to the doc on Thursday. Friday is her pediatric gastroenterologist appointment in Springfield. And then Jack's birthday is that weekend.

It's going to be a crazy few days. It is not the Rogers' way. ;P

What a mother of a day.

Today's sentiment is beautiful. Appreciate your mother. For some of us who are a little bit shitty to our mothers, it is a good reminder to thank them for the sacrifices they have made and gifts they have given to us. To note, I have a mother who is so super loving that sometimes I feel smothered. But, and this is a huge but, this woman would do almost anything for me. She has my back. And I think the reason she does what she does is because she loves us so much that she would rather take any pain we experience away. This includes making suggestions, calling all the time... you get the idea. I love you, too, mom.

But today makes me sad. It reminds me of my loss as a mother. And because of that loss, I feel much more aware of the pain that this day may bring to others. As some celebrate, others are reminded of their loss, or their struggles to grow a child in their bodies or adopt a child. Some are looking at the clock wondering when their lives will line up just right, so that they can experience motherhood themselves. I am thinking of them today. I would love for them to get exactly what they want. I know that is not possible for everyone, so I hope they find peace and joy in their lives.

I love my kids. I love my husband. This job is hard, but I don't ever want to know life without it.

My last post

So I did say it was good news that two "evil" people were dead. May I say in no way did I delight in their deaths. I didn't woot and hollar. I felt not much, actually. A man who is considered a harm to people was exterminated. My kid heard me talking to a friend who asked my opinion on it. I tried to explain that while we do not rejoice in the death of others, it is sometimes necessary. Yeah, good times.

So that's it. Just to clarify. I'm glad we discussed it.

Of course, having these kind of discussions makes you really reevaluate how you describe good and bad to your children. Kids think in black and white. You have to descibe things that way in the beginning. But the truth is, nothing is in black and white. We have all done good things and bad things. At what point does a good person end and an evil person begins? How much bad does someone have to do? Don't look at me, I don't have the answer.

It's been a weekend

So, a lot has happened this weekend. I'm more of a list girl. So we'll start with the lists. Then we will paragraph the rest.

Good news:
*Bin Laden is killed. (May I say, it does feel weird wishing people dead.)
*My former boss opened up her own store and non-profit organization.
*Several friends accomplished their first 5K and half marathons.

Bad news:
*A shooting at our local mall.
*A shooting in Decatur leaving an 18 year old dead, and 2 suspects on the run armed and dangerous.

Pesonal Good news:
*BE has started to crawl. :) She's not a crazy maniac yet, but she is starting to get around.
*BE has started to feed herself. Thank you to my friend who gave us large rice wafers that totally interested BE to do it. :)
*While J did not pass swim class, he made amazing accomplishments. He learned how to put part of his face in the water (small steps); he learned how to paddle. He got dropped off a diving board (and caught) and loved it. He swam in the deep end of a pool with one of those tubes tied around his waist. I know it sounds like little accomplishments. But for a boy who, 8 weeks ago, refused to do any water activities during swim lessons...dude, he rocks. (I'd like to think my bribery of cookies helped - hah!)

We are super proud of the work our kids have been doing. While I would love to totally claim credit for these personal accomplishments, the truth is that we were lucky to have some pretty amazing people in our kids' lives. We had a favorite swim teacher that made J feel safe. We have two amazing therapists that help BE with her gross motor and fine motor skills.

My quick rant: Up until yesterday, I felt no strangeness in my daughter having glasses. However, a little girl pointed at her at the aquatic center. The child did not bother me because that is what little kids do, but the mother who told her daughter "it's not nice to point" is the one who did. Suddenly, E having glasses was freakish - something not to point at. We are all different. Different is the new normal. ;) I am totally comfortable with people asking questions. I feel like it's a great way to educate people about optical problems in babies. I have no problem with the kids at school pointing out that our baby has glasses. But I just wish that mom at that pool might have said something along the lines of "the little baby needs the glasses so she can see better."

Holy Shit, Batman!

Yes, you heard me. I said shit. Because that has been the theme of my day. In the last 24 hours I have been been "puked on" with phlem, had a wet bed, a fever-ridden/crying boy, a coughing (nay, hacking) husband, and a major poosposion that occured minutes before BE's therapist arrived.

That's the major shit part. It was on her back, on her hands, on her feet, on the floor... Everywhere. And it wasn't the nice easy to clean kind. Oh no, it was the liquidy kind that took five million wipes. And then the smell would not go away. The poor therapist. BE was clean, but still, there was no time for a bath. So in my mind, not completely clean.

Today, BE's therapist decided to be more hands off today to see how much she has progressed. But I think it was because she didn't want to have shit residue on her. They do not pay these awesome people enough for all the shit they have to put up with.

Hah. Ok, I'm done now.

Gender Wars

Okay, that's a little extreme. But if you talk to Curious J, he has a thing for it being just boys. And so, he got exactly what he wanted: a boys weekend to his grandparents house. He was spoiled with cookies and toys and pizza and popcorn. And that is how the grandparents in our family work.

The ladies stayed here. :) We didn't have to travel and sit in a rocking chair all night at the grandparents. We were able to take naps and go for quick cars rides for soda. We (ok, me) organized the house some. Sadly the weather was crap yesterday or else we would have enjoyed some outside time. But it was still a fun-filled, laid back weekend.

There was very little crying and fussing. I felt less stress. I didn't feel rushed. I loved not having to consult the whole family for the plan. It made me realize that it isn't all about it being just the temparment of the second kid. It's the function of the family. And when things are calm, I can have some pretty laid back and fun experience with BE. That made me extremely happy.

Scientist baby

A few blogs ago, I mentioned that I noticed Blue Eye's eyes not matching up correctly. After meeting with the opthamologist, we were given the diagnosis of intermittent exotropia. Because he did not specialize in pediatric opthamology, we were referred to a doctor in a city nearby. Today, we went to the pediatric opthamologist and he was able to test BE. He found an astigmatism which (from what I believe he said) could have been the reason why BE never developed the single vision using both eyes. Blah, blah, blah, a bunch of medical information, and we were given glasses.

Curious J has named her Scientist Baby. Doesn't she look beautiful! There is a chance that the glasses will correct the issue. Blah, blah blah, percentage of success. Blah, blah, blah, if not, here's what happens next.

We will check back in 6 weeks to see how it goes.

By the way, I did pay attention during the blah, blah, blahs. But passing on the information from my non-medical degreed brain to my readers would just be disastrous.

After two hours at the clinic, we did go to Chuck E Cheese. Curious J was very patient and helpful. So he got to play some rockin' fun games with dad.

The Art of Honesty

You know what is great about kids - they are honest without filter. If you ask their opinion about something, they will most likely give it to you. "Do you want to play with so-in-so?" "NO," they may reply. Part of you is embarassed. Part of you is envious. Part of you is flustered but what you are going to do next. Curious J has done this to me a good number of times. And he is excellent at doing this in front of the parent or child. And sometimes, he doesn't need asking. Sometimes he just gives his opinion freely. He called a nurse "old" when she was taking Blue Eyes' blood once.. She was elderly, but did he really have to say it out loud? Fortunately, she laughed at it and said to me, "I bet this is an embarassing moment for you."

There are a few people I am happy to say I can be brutally honest with. A handful. And while they end up getting my honest answer, which they may or many not like, they are also aware of what I really think. No second guessing. And sadly, they get the shaft because I can tell them what you really want or feel. Whereas with others, I have to put my happy face on and lie. In laws, parents, friends, hair stylists, servers... it comes at any level. And why do we have to be so polite to the point of bending over backwards or sacrificing our own comfort. We choose living with unhappiness over living with guilt of rejection or honesty. When a server brings you the wrong side, do you say anything? When your MIL gives you a gift you don't really care for it, and she asks your opinion, do you tell the truth? When you just don't feel like going out with a friend, but you know saying no will likely lead to a conversation or harassment, do you go just to avoid confrontation? When you child has a birthday party coming up with only so many children allowed invited, do you allow your child to invite the kids he wants? Do you add to the list even if you didn't budget for the increase? (Yeah, we are getting close to that issue.)

Are you feeling awkward reading this? Knowing that you are guilting of some of these things. And yet, I hate that I can't be honest. Not rude. Honest. Because there is a difference between hurting someone's feelings and potentially hurting someone's feelings because you know what you are giving them in your appeasing lie isn't benefiting them or you. You will just end up with resentment

So, I will say this to you. If you find me being honest, please don't take it as wanting to hurt your feelings, but as a compliment for trying to have a real relationship with you.

She's an eater

I wanted BE to start getting use to real solid food. Not the kind in the jar, the kind you have to chew. So I bought those Gerber puffs to practice her fine motor and her chewing. Well, a few weeks later, here we are having to give her some kind of bread or pasta or puff in between the spoonfuls of Stage 3 jars of food, because she refused to eat them without incentive. So today, I tried bananas. A no go. Tonight I tried blueberries and grapes (no skin, don't worry). Still a no go. (Since she was completely exhausted at the time, I will try again during a wakeful period). She will eat ziti, spaghetti, bagels, bread, and, for the first time today, a sugar cookie. Oh yeah, and part of a fry. But I really am trying to find foods she can gnaw on with her two little teeth that are nutritious.

The downfall to this is that she is waking up hungry at about 3-3:30am. So I have a choice: Feed her or hold her to sleep (because when I set her down she will wake up screaming). Since she was a couple months old, this little girl has not had a middle of the night bottle. But now, she is starting to demand it. I do not want to start a feeding in the middle.

This is what happens with a cognitively intelligent girl. She kicks my ass. ;)

Goodbye Geraldine

Today marks the passing a woman who will remain in my memory for my entire life. Geraldine Ferraro. For those of you who do not know, she was the vice presidential nominee for the Democratic party in 1984 running with Walter Mondale. Yeah, I actually remember something about history. This is it.

Now, BDR does not remember her, probably because for a boy growing up, seeing a male president or vice president was everyday. For us little girls, the possibility of being a person in such an important position as a female was awesome. And because of this, I wanted to be the first female President of the United States. Now, here I am as a SAHM being no where close to running for office, but the dream was alive for me because of her.

Thank you, Geraldine. Rest in peace.

Oooooh, Witchy Woman

My little girl is getting a reputation in out house as someone who is excellent at aggressively communicating when she is not happy. It's funny. At first it was the fact that she didn't feel well, but now she is just pissed. A lot. In the night, she wakes up hourly screaming, and then once picked up she falls back asleep immediately. Instead of attempting to mobilize herself, she screams at laying on her back on the floor for too long. She screams when she is put on her belly. She. likes. to. scream. And cry.

As her DT says, it's a battle of the wills. And I am not going down without a fight. A quiet fight in order to not wake Curious J up in the night.

Today we were at breakfast (yes, outside our home) and she started getting upset sitting on my lap. She started getting vocal. But we must have been the only ones to notice because this nice elderly woman told me as we were leaving that I had the happiest baby. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I love her. And when she is happy, she lights up an entire room. But when she is pissed, she takes the entire house down. This is going to be a very very interesting relationship.

In the meantime, look how cute she is. :) I know. How could someone who looks like this be so angry.



I mean, is she screaming or laughing. :)

My baby's growing up

Well, that's true, but I'm not nearly as devastated as I made it sound in the title. I am like the normal parents: concerned about Curious J adapting to the new environment. But I have a feeling that just like preschool, he will acclimate just fine. Our preschool did an amazing job of getting J out of his shell.

Speaking of acclimating, Blue Eyes is kicking it with her therapy. Her grasping and inspecting objects has improved greatly. While her gross motor is going a bit slower, her therapists are awesome at pointing out the positives of how she is doing. I think because the use of her hands improved so quickly, I was expecting the same with her rolling and crawling. But the therapists said they were pleased with the strengthening of core. I have to buy her these spandex "hip helpers" to keep her legs in (http://www.hiphelpers.com/), which will ultimately help her get into crawling position. Yeah, she going to love that. She has not been please with the last two sessions. But I know it's good for her.

And some of you will appreciate this. The DT said she was cognitively very aware. That's right, bitches, #2 is smart, too. Genius. ;)

My little goldfish

I am not a good particularly swimmer. And that is being generous. Since I am not, I have not gone to the pool very often with the oldest child of mine (as well as the fact that for years, I had a phobia of sharing a public space with people. Yes, I know there is chlorine, but phobias aren't about logic. Blah, blah, blah prozac. Blah, blah, blah better now.

Curious J has been apprehensive about the pool, but I have still taken him. And when you look at his parental options of being taken to the pool, I am the most likely, as long as I am not pregnant and on bedrest. Finally this winter, he was open to the idea of swim lessons. Well, if you know kids, you know their ability to change their minds at a moments notice. But he's been consistently approving of going. So I signed him up about a month ago.

On Saturday, I sent BDR (yes, not me) to the first lesson. Having my issues, I wanted J to start off on a good foot. BDR has an ability of deescalating anxiety. I think that's why I'm attracted to him. Anyway, J did great! He played in the water. He practice moving his arms (at times, not enthusiastically). He did great. And that makes me happy.

My sister's a WHA?

My sister is a Reverend. Officially. I dragged Quigs to Florida with me to go to my sister's ordination. I had this beautiful thought that it would be fun and what a great thing to share with her. But seriously, it was crazy busy. And crazy.



Highlights (in no particular order):

* Running from one section of the airport to the other to make our flight to Tampa. All we needed was music, and we would have been in a movie.

* An irrate passenger who made a huge scene. Best part of the flight to Tampa from Atlanta.

* Making friends with the flight attendants.

* Making friends with the hotel front desk person.

* Driving the wrong way on a 6 lane street at night.

* Getting a cool new pair of sunglasses.

* Talking to a little boy during my sister's after ceremony reception. He was the best person to talk to of the night.

* Being called a pot-stirrer by a pastor I just met, who also happened to be Pastor M's former boss.

* Listening to Quigs be called "a delight" by the same pastor.

* Seeing my family, some of whom I haven't seen in two years or more.

* Transporting the cake without messing it up.

* KARAOKE.

* Quigs, very "happy" after a couple of drinks. Totally deserving of it after a crazy day.

* The beautiful Florida weather. I think I got a burn on my neck.

* Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, and Butterbeer.



* Quigs, having to get her bag checked by security in the Orlando airport.

I got to see a completely different side of Pastor M that I have never seen before. I hope I see a lot more of it. I'm very proud of her.

Thanks to both Quigs and Mr. Quigs for letting her come with me. I owe them craploads of money and baked goods. Oh, and diet coke and babysitting.

And another big thanks to Mr. Rogers who took care of our two kids flawlessly while I was away. We're trying to figure out which one of us hard the harder job. I missed my family like crazy while I was gone. And BE said mama for the first time while I was gone.

Lovefest

I love them.

Don't be stupid, kids. Don't have sex.

Or at least be smart and protect yourself.

It's funny. I love the holy crap out of my kids. Seriously. My heart, my life would be broken without them or my husband. But as many parents will tell you, it's really hard work. Today was one of those really "hard work" days. And so, I appeal to you youngster who are itching to surge those hormones with someone else... be smart. If you are going to do it, use every form of protection that will work together well to ensure that conception does not occur. Because once you have that baby, you will need all the patience in the world to handle when your youngest is waking up every three hours at night, and your son is the anti-listening champ of the world. Because you can love the holy crap out of your kids, but you don't get any more "me" time. Not really. Not 100% freely. They can be away from you, but they're still your kids. You still worry about them. You still wonder if you have brought them up right. You still wonder if they are safe or if they have hurt feelings. You still wonder if you have given them the tools to survive. You still miss them.

And those first few years? They are like being a medical resident: Perform on as little sleep as possible. I am amazed that there aren't more car accidents from the number of parents who are't sleeping well at night and then falling asleep behind the wheel. Because there are some days that the radio is blaring, and I am hopped up on sugar just to make it to school.

So kiddos. Don't be stupid.

IMARogers is not a licensed anything, nor does she play a doctor on tv. She is however, a very tired parent who should be in bed right now, but really needed some relax time. She is stupid for that.

I get by with a little help from my friends

Love that song.

First, this is not a sob story. It's more of a realization I have come to in my thirties. Anyway...

When I was younger, I had few close friends. I had a couple "best friends" in high school. My college roommate was and is one of my closest friends; I wished she and I lived closer to each other. (Here we are 2.5 years ago)


I've had some close friends since college. But, I don't know if I really understood what being a friend meant. To me, it simply meant going out with the people you like the most. And spending time with people who you could be honest and comfortable sharing stuff.

I've broken up with friends. Two. They were messy breakups. I know that while I could point the finger their way, I could also point the finger back to me, too.

That being said, here I am in my thirties relearning friendship. I have less than a handful that I would really call my closest friends. I think I learned what friendship meant by what others have done for me - asking nothing in return. And at this point, I realize I need to do the same. I feel like having kiddos has made it harder to find the time and energy. But for those people who are important to me, I want to.

I feel like this isn't coming out right. Here it is. I have really bombed at the giving part of friendships. But I don't want to anymore. I want meaningful ones. They need to know that I care, that they are special to me, and I that appreciate their friendship.

Any questions?

A review

I know, I haven't written in several days. So here's a brief review using photos as a visual aid.

One day while I was putting Blue Eyes down for a nap, Curious J "needed" a snack. So he helped himself to a sucker, two chocolate coins, and sunchips. As you can see, he was very proud.



At a birthday party we went to this past weekend, J learned how to "bear crawl". I realized that maybe gymnastics might be a good way to focus his habits of jumping and climbing. So I'm looking into classes.



In the meantime, BE has been developing in leaps and bounds. She grabs at almost everything now. Bedtime books, J's legos, baby puffs. I am super proud of her and hanging out with this little girls who wants to interact with people and things around her is getting super fun. And she's even looking a stuff on her tummy! :) Sadly, however, she's getting her top two teeth, which are making her a "wonderful sleeper".







And finally we end our review at McD's playplace. We are starting to become regulars there every Friday after school with J's friend, Scoobydoo. As much as I loathe the germs that surround that place, I enjoy the company. It makes Fridays something to look forward to.

In the past few weeks, I have noticed BE's eyes do not always match up. One is always catching to the other. The frequency has increased, however, when we took her to her pediatrician, she did not show any problems. Fortunately, the doctor didn't think I was a complete hypocondriac and schedule an appointment with a the optomologist. In the meantime, I am trying to get evidence that I am not crazy. Only so that way I can get help for her. Sadly, the appointment isn't until the end of March. So anybody having advise or encouragement would be appreciated because it's stressing me out a little.

What a sweetheart!

My innocent little boy. ;)

Today, J and I went to a birthday party for one of his school friends. It was super fun at the local gymnastics center for little ones. J was happy to see his "very best friend" at the party and the two of them were pretty inseparable for the duration of the party. During the first half of the party, the kids got to play on the gym equipment and also did some structured activities. I realized that my little guy might need something like gymnastics to jump and climb and practice for his future as a stuntman.

There were mostly girls at the party, but a few boys. My J has "grown up" for lack of a better word. He was once the kid I was worried about being pummelled, and now he is the one getting called out for playing swords (see below).



On one hand, I am happy to see that he can handle himself with the crowd he plays with; on the other hand, I worry that my kid will be known as the mastermind of some kind of war among his classmates or friends. That's right Curious J fans, my kid is not that innocent.

Different parents have different rules, especially about rough play. Some have no touching or no weapons rule. Some are fine as long as it's mutual and no one is getting hurt. Of course, some completely ignore their children and allow them to totally terrorize other kids. I lean more to the second attitude, but I also try to respect the other parent if they do not believe in rough play. Because up until this past 6 months or so, I was a no rough play parent. I still get a little stomach churn waiting for someone to get hurt.

We'll wait and see if it's just a "boy thing" as so many people tell me it is, or if I should expect BE to be throwing punches in a couple of years. ;P

This will not fly one day

See that picture? That is the picture of a little boy who will one day have revenge seeked on him for touching his little sister's cheeks. I want to warn him (as a child who had her cheeks pinched by her older sister) that biting and slapping will be consequences if he continue to do that.

God (this is a long one)

For many, many years I was brought up to Christian. I knew what right from wrong was. I knew Jesus died for my sins. I remember moments in my life where I accepted Jesus as my savior.

I also remember when I first lost my faith. And after finding it again, lost it yet again. That time, for good. And as I get older, I find that as much as I want to believe - the way I did as a child, I am more sure of the fact that there is no one being out in the universe who is guiding us, helping us. I really believe that if there was this being out there that had control over so much, that he or she or it would not let such horrific things happen to good people. To children. To the innocent. Someone once told me that maybe God got the universe started and then took his/her hands out of it. Allowed nature to take it's course. And while I was a Christian that excuse comforted me because it meant that someone wasn't out there picking and choosing who would get the lucky life.

The Christian in me is scared to death of being wrong about the afterlife.... of there being a God who will banish me from heaven, from my family, from happiness, because I didn't believe in him/her. There are so many different religions. And so many that say "either our way or you are doomed to roam hell for all eternity." That is too many people who are roaming hell for all eternity out there with many more to come. Many of them are good people who are just trying to do the right thing in their daily lives.

I still pray to my god. I still make deals with my god. I am sure there are plenty of people in the world who would be willing to make a bargain if it were possible. I have been given many blessings, with not nearly as many bad experiences as others. And when I think of how arrogant I can be, how ungrateful I can be, I feel extremely undeserving of those blessings. Why was I given this life? Why can't someone else be given the goodness they so deserve? Is part of it the perspective you keep?

This is the part where we talk about science and probability, and sociology and psychology. How we have created the world we live in by our behavior. How science effects how our planet functions, including how we have treated (and abused) our planet. Everyone in the world effects everyone else, whether it be directly or through a chain reaction. And science allows us to make educated guesses on how things are going to happen. That's what I believe.

I have rambled. But tonight, I go to bed thinking that if there was that god out there, I would be feeling a little pissy at him/her. Not for myself. But for all the people who are deserving of happiness and safety. The children who deserve to be loved and fed and sheltered. The shitty people who just keep on being shitty with very little consequence.

I don't advertise my beliefs to everyone; my kids don't even know (too confusing at this age). I am vocal to the people who know. I have a lot of religious friends who I respect. I admire their faith in someone greater than this earth. That little girl in me is worried that I will be looked down on or defriended for being a non-believer. But when the push comes to shove, I cannot make that leap of faith. And to try to pretend I do believe, would not be right with me. But trust me, I would love to believe in an afterlife; ceasing to exist after dying does not soothe me at all.

My beautiful boy

I got lucky. I got to do Curious J's bedtime tonight. That meants from about 7:15pm on, he was all mine to hang out with. He chose to hang out in a box for a while. We talked a little, and then we read magazines. The sweet boy shared some sensitive stuff with me, too. First, he asked if our house would be in heaven. I said, "No, but from what I hear, you will be very happy when you get there." He said to me, "I don't want to leave earth, I like it here." My reply, "Me, too, kid."

The second was after I told him I was going to Pastor M's ordination in March. A few minutes later, he said, "I don't want you to leave our family." Me: "Why would I leave our family?" J: "When you go away." Me: "I am only going to be gone for a few days, and I will never leave this family."
- Of course, being the airplane phobic I am, I wanted to ask if he knew something I didn't. ;)

Even though I feel like I spend most of my day keeping him in line, and even though nine times out of ten he would choose his dad, I am glad to see we can still have some special moments together.

My adorable family

BDR is showing me videos of J when he was the same age as BE. Scarily enough, J was pulling himself up and crawling. But his verbals were nowhere near BE's abilities. Comparing? No. Just realizing their strengths are in different areas. And it's learning to use those strengths as confidence builders while working on the improvement areas. The good news is that BE looks like J when he was a baby. So I guess that means they are biologically connected. ;)

Blog #1 for the night: Debbie Downer

So this blog is one of those that you write when you feel kinda pissy about the way the world works. You get tired of the haters. So make it known, I am not complaining about my life. I love my life. I don't have a bad life, I had bad moments in life, although really very seldom. And when I am hydrated, fed, rested, and medicated, I know just how good I have it. Even when one or more of those things are missing, I'm still pretty aware of it.

Now that we've established that. I hope all the people out there, who spend most of their time complaining about their lives when really they have it good, to shut the eff up. And if you THINK that's you, it's probably NOT you. I know, because I am the paranoid type, too. Because the people who do think life is so effing' tough usually don't realize that they have it as good as they do. Healthy? Roof over your head? Fed? Not being abused? No traumatic events in your life? You are loved by at least one person in your life in this world? Friends?

And remember that someone else's grass may seem greener from where you are standing, but unless you know the whole story, you can't just assume that things are all merry and sunshine. Because some people put on happy faces even when something awful is happening to them.

Ok, this hypocryte is going to write a happier blog now.

The weekend in review (update: a gripe of the weekend)

(Skip to the end for the positive part)
This weekend we decided to head down to our hometown to go to a going away party for my sister, Pastor M, who is about to get her own congregation as a pastor. I guess that is what those people are call. Denominations seem to use different words to describe the person with the same job.

Anyway, it gave us a chance to see my dad who just turned 70 and see my MIL, who is about to turn 62. Plus Curious J has been asking for a sleepover at his Gibbo's house (my MIL) since the last time he was there at Christmas. We also got to see my extended family on my dad's side at this shindig. Because it seems a little too ironic to travel TO a going away party from AWAY. ;)

BE did AWESOME on the way down. The entire family was talking during the car ride down. She even took two naps while I got to sit next to BDR. Seriously, awesome. The tricky part became that she did not take an afternoon nap during or shortly after the party. So at bedtime, she was very tired. Very tired in a different environment then her own. And to top it all off, BE has been a bad sleeper lately. I have held her for multiple hours during the night for the past 4 or 5 nights. Funny, because she is finally a very happy girl during the day. It can never be simple, right? So BE was up three times before 11pm. After everyone went to bed and she woke up I just decided to sit in the chair and hold her the next time she woke up. Well, that was stupid. She stayed awake until 1am, at which time she demanded a bottle to go back to sleep (in other words, she cried and cried no matter what I did until a bottle was given). Then we sat in the ever so comfortable chair tossing and turning until about 7am at which time she woke up. I try to not make BDR take baby duty on the trip down because I need him to be awake for the car ride home.

I hit a near breaking point last night. To not be able to sleep in my bed for majority of a night is really starting to mess with my head and my parenting. So as I sit here at 9:30pm, I am going to finish this blog and head to bed.

This morning, we (more like my ILs) promised J a donut for breakfast, but because of slowness, we didn't leave the house until close to lunch. To be fair, I have no problem with them giving him donuts for breakfast when we visit. Trying to coordinate two families to meetup, we had to reschedule donuts until after lunch and a trip to the toystore. You'd think I didn't just say trip to the toystore because he was not very happy to have to reschedule the donuts. Fortunately, he thoroughly enjoyed the toy store. Got some awesome toys purchased by his grandparents. Even BE got a couple of toys and a few very comfortable outfits that are easy to get on and off.

The trip back home was mediocre. BE didn't get more than 5 minute naps this morning or early afternoon. She is not a baby who can be transported sleeping. (Sigh) There really is something to having a schedule for her and I. So after she woke up in the middle of the car ride home, she was very angry - to the point of throwing up. I got to enjoy the rest of the car ride smushed between two carseats. Good times. I have never looked so forward to getting back to a Monday routine.

I do want to point out a few things that were positive.
1. It was nice to see my extended family again. We are all getting older; who knows how long we will continue to be able to do this. We were able to get in some good arguments - it wouldn't be a visit without them.
2. BDR and I got to enjoy two of our eateries from high school. Imo's pizza and Burt's Chuckwagon. (and Krispy Kreme, which was not around in high school)
3. J loved seeing his family. And while he loves everyone, he especially enjoyed hanging out with his Uncle, Ranger. Maybe it's because Ranger can act like a kid himself or the fact that he works with kids as a job. Listening to them talk last night was one of the highlights of the weekend.
4. J's got some cool new toys. LEGO sets! WOO HOO!
5. BE has been using her arms so much more this weekend. Grabbing bottles, grabbing toys, grabbing faces. It's beautiful.
6. As exhausted as I am, I have been enjoying that BE can now fall asleep on my chest. I got to enjoy that a few times this weekend.
7. As I am reminded by a very good person, no matter how annoyed I get with my family, they're intentions are always good. That makes me an extremely lucky person. And I know that. Hopefully the feeling is mutual. Even the annoying part. ;)
8. That beautiful 60 degree weather (yup, it was 60 there).
9. That car ride to our destination is one of those moments that will always stick with me. We were all participating in talking and singing. It made me happy.

See, I can find the good too. I'm just tired and cranky. Do you eyes hurt yet from reading so much. Then go to bed.

Blue Eyes: The Evaluation

Blue Eyes has been a busy girl lately: Playdate, doctor's appointments, therapy sessions, evaluations. The doctor's appointment paid off big time, and we now have a happy baby a lot more during the day. Today was BE's evaluation with a physical therapist and an occupational therapist. She qualified for services. She needs to work on exploring her environment, reaching and manipulating things, as well as working on losening up the shoulder muscles so she can bring her arms forward. It's kind of a domino effect because the acid reflux caused BE to arch her back. Then that became her comfortable position. Because that was her comfortable position, she didn't keep her hands and arms forward which kept her from grabbing and manipulating the things in front of her. Yep, all from the acid reflux.

The OT and PT said she has good muscle tone, and is smart and social. They believe that within 6 months, she will meet the developmental goals appropriate for her age. Some goals are to get her to cruise around the house and be able to feed herself. Seeing the little one she is now, I will be amazed to see her in this process.

I got nothing

I got nothing to give tonight. Good day. The early morning was tough. I held BE from 3am until 8am. But the day was very great. Productive with good time spent with the kids (a nice balance). We had a great dinner time. Happy kids. Fun family hangout while BDR prepared dinner. I was on my A game putting both kids to bed after giving them both a bath. The only problem is BE keeps waking up about once an hour since she went to sleep. Fortunately I have cute kids, so I can let the lack of time to myself pass.

Gotta go to bed now. Well, at least until BE wakes up again. ;)

Tonight you are getting an action shot of Curious J doing what he does best - jump around. And then BE just chillin' after a good meal.

Baby playdate

Today, BE and I met with a neighborhood mom and her baby boy for a playdate. You may wonder what babies do at playdates. Really, it's a way for moms to having adult contact. Personally, I like to think that babies benefit from seeing what other babies do. BE was curious about our baby friend today. She was curious enough to actually stay on her tummy for about 10 minutes without trying to roll over. If you know what pains we have had with tummy time, you will know that this is an accomplishment for her. I'd like to think that the other baby motivated her, but it might have also been the cool blanket on the ground.

If we're lucky, he'll give us a rose and we'll get to go on another day again. Wait, wrong show.

I'm THAT parent

Today was school tour day for prospective kindergarten families. As I was getting ready to leave the house, I banged my head on my hutch. There's a reason I tell you this.

Fast forward about 1 hour. We are nearing the end of the tours. It's warm in the school. I have my coat on. We are touring in groups. It's parent question time in the small library room filled with many parents. I start getting light headed. So I go in the hallway near the front door. I feel better. I go back inside the library. This time I get light headed and my ears start to get pressure or go silent. You know, the feelings right before you pass out. I haul it back to the hallway chair.

A very nice parent who was giving the tours came out and made sure I was ok. I mentioned the warmth and the fact that I banged my head. But she adds that it also is a bit overwhelming to think about kindergarten.

Oh shit. I am now that parent that is anxious about my baby going to school all because it's warm in the school or my head is internally bleeding. I try to reassure her that it is the warmth. I am sure I am (not) believed. To prove it was the heat, I got up, walked outside and felt immediately fine. It helps that it was 30 degrees outside.

I swear, it was just the heat.

PS - I had a great day with my kids (not just good - GREAT), and a great night at bunco. I don't get enough time to talk to the women I play with. They are kinda awesome.

PPS - Curious J thought the afternoon school tour was great. It helps that they had bowling in the gym/cafeteria with fun music playing.

My latest project

At Christmastime, I made our family ornaments. And because I just usually sit and play spider solitaire while watching tv most nights (I know, I'm very busy), I decided to pull the polymer clay back out. So I have two things I want to work on.

#1 Angry bird guys. I picked these because Jack loves the angry birds game, and because they look pretty easy to make. No complicated color mixing. Very basic shapes. I haven't made one yet.
#2 Miniature food. I found this website that shows me step by step how to make little foods like carrots, tomatos, bread. I tried the bread. It didn't turn out like the picture. But I'll try again. I did, however, make a pea pod. I'd show you a picture, but I'm too lazy to get out my camera. I have this secret wish that Blue Eyes will like dollhouse stuff so I can make things for it - just like I have enjoyed building train tracks and lego creations with J.

On tap for tomorrow: School visits for kindergarten (fast breathing), and Bunco with mom friends from J's school.

Also, my dad is turning 70 tomorrow. So wish him a Happy Birthday! :) I can't believe he is 70. He doesn't make me think of a 70 year old man. To me, he is still the 40 or 50 something year old man that took me to school in the morning or came to visit me at college. And sometimes, he tries to be, too. He has softened with age. I hope he has many more years to come. I take for granted the fact that I do no have all the time in the world with my parents. I know I don't. And I hope that I have time to not be an ass of a daughter.

I bought a dress

Yeah, you heard me. I bought a dress. I found it on ebay - new with tags. Here it is:


I secretly wanted to try this dress and a few other dresses that were hot pink. But if I couldn't try it on in person, then I didn't want to risk it.


I bought the dress to wear to my sister's ordination in March in Tampa, Florida. BDR was curious as to why I would buy a dress for this event, when I usually where pants and a shirt to events that he goes to. And even though I joke that I am looking for Mr. Right #2 so we can all move to Utah and be one happy family, I want to see if it is possible for me to dress and look like a beautiful adult. The rest of the time, I have one or two kids to get ready for something, but this occasion will be in a place where I have to take care of no children prior to the event. Can I do it? Do I still have it in me? It might be fun to do this; and so I will try. Who the hell knows, I might look frumpy in the dress and end up wearing a pant and shirt combo. ;)

Mother...

...Nature
I have been eating like a pig all day. And it hasw a lot to do with my hormones. You know... that time. I'm gonna regret it in the morning, but tonight, it feels so right. It's like a hookup that you regret in the morning - except I have never done the hookup thing before, so I really can't speak on that.

Blue Eyes now has two teeth. I spent Wednesday night sitting in a chair holding her all night because she kept on waking up every few minutes, and that was with tylenol. I have been giving it to her pretty consistently but those suckers are still giving her pain. Poor girl. She is going to look absolutely adorable with two little teeth in the front.

BDR and Curious J went outside yesterday in the ice and snow. They last about 5 minutes and then it got too cold outside for J. Curious J has been challenging BDR and I about staying up until 10pm, even when we start bedtime at 8pm. He likes visiting us in our room and tells us he will go to sleep after we go to sleep.

The Return of Happy Girl

This is what a happy girl with a working digestive system looks like. Any questions?

Losing power for about an hour made us go into emergency mode. I married a man who is excellent at staying calm and thinking logically when a problem arises. We prepared for a dark and cold night. Non-essential doors closed. Flashlights and candles ready. A list of meals and a plan on what to do with cold foods (especially Blue Eye's formula). There should be one type of person like him in every family. We realized that BE is really the hardest person to improvise for an emergency. But that will change as she grows older.

We take for granted what we have until we lose it. Tonight I'm thinking of those who are homeless, hungry, without power, without a plan, and those who are out there helping us stay safe.

And for now, the boy is very happy to have the husband home for an extra couple days.

No Business Like Snow Business

Today we ventured to Springfield before the BIG BLIZZARD of 2011. ;) Or at least if you talk to my family, that is how they see it.

Today was Blue Eye's appointment with the pediatric gastroenterologist. Neither BDR nor I slept well last night. Even with the advice of a friend, I could not fall asleep. Hope about the potential changes in BE's mood and health, as well as the reminders from family about the weather, plus BE waking up at 4am for her morning feeding aloud for the perfect storm of insomnia.

Yet, we were wide awake for the car ride. We got there in perfect time - with 20 minutes to spare. No precipitation had started in either Springfield or Savoy. We didn't wait long in the waiting room, which was awesomely decorated for kids. The whole building was clearly a pediatric building. The doctor, Dr. A, was an exceptionally nice doctor. She was lively and friendly. She talked to J instead of just being all business. And BE let her hold her and even smiled at her. If you know my kid, you know that doesn't happen with everyone. She was also a full service doctor and buttoned up BE's clothes after giving her an exam. Dr. A clearly knew her area of expertise, even if she wasn't familiar with the similac brand stuff. They seem to be an enfamil institution. ;)

Here's what we learned:
-BE is in the 82% in weight, 75% in height for her current age. Holy cow.

- Sitting up in a carseat does not actually help a reflux baby because the legs are scrunched and push up on the abdomen. Even though it makes you feel better if your baby is spitting up in their sleep, it is still not the best thing to do. Huh. Propping up the mattress is. Maybe that's why BE hates to travel in the carseat for long periods of time.

- Tummy time and strengthing the abdomen is going to help her reflux get better.

- BE likes doing tummy time on the paper on the table at the doctor's office. Seriously hysterical. We could have gone 10 minutes. Maybe.

- Pear juice is the best juice to give a constipated baby.

- Because of BE's weight, she needs a higher dosage of Prevacid.

- The University Ave Walgreens is the only one that compounds Prevacid pills.

- The soy formula is the formula we are going back on. Worried about her constipation? Us, too. But never fear. Between the pear juice and the stool softener prescribed, BE should be fine. Fingers crossed.

- We need to cut back the amount of formula and increase the number of feedings. Smaller meals more times. Let's hope BE will let us get away with that.

- We have to go back in 6-8 weeks. And next time, we will go to the Pasta House.

- There is a Duncan Donuts in the building.

- J can eat two donuts in less than 30 minutes but cannot eat more than a bowl of spaghetti without getting full. Allegedly. ;)

The weather driving back was not ideal, but I had a good pilot. I sat in the back between two carseats both to and from Springfield. My hips will probably be bruised, but I was able to amuse BE and J for most of the trip.

Next Up: Occupational and Developmental Therapists are coming to our house to evaluation BE's gross motor and fine motor skills next week.

The adventures of MOOOOOdy girl and OCD boy

For the past 3 weeks, I have put Blue Eyes on soy milk after a mom with a daughter who had similar issues said she noticed a huge difference in her mood. Because BE seemed irritable and I could hear the reflux and smell the acid come up, I could tell that she was not comfortable. So I switch the soy from the milk based spit up stuff. Now, BE has always had minor issues with having bowel movements since we went exclusively on formula, but nothing like the past week or so. We did see a mood improvement with the soy. I believe it made her stomach feel better. We noticed a decrease in spitup and she seemed less fussy. However, this week I have had to give her a couple of suppositories; and even though she is eating regular foods and drinking juices to add hydration to her body, the BMs are not getting any better. In fact, they are worse. The past couple days she has cut back on the amount of solids she has eaten. And while I loved seeing my little girl happy and started to really enjoy our time together without worrying about her mood, I hated seeing her in pain more. And if it increases in frequency, it is not making it any better. So today, I brought back moooooooody girl (Get it, moooooo - like in cow - like in milk based formula. Nevermind.) Hopefully, it means less painful BMs. Fortunately, we are going to the pedriatric gastroentorologist on Monday morning in Springfield. While I don't know if she has reflux to the serious degree that other babies have (for example, I had one friend who's son was not gaining any weight), I know that she still has it. I am tired of guessing what works with her digestive system. So wish us luck on Monday, because I have high expectations that someone will make my child start being happy and poopy. ;)

My first born, Curious J, has been starting to pick his nails into the grain. At first we thought it was because he had annoying nails, and maybe it was. But now it has become a habit. We have tried to explain the pain he will get from picking his nails too low, but it has become an instilled habit now. Part of me wants to put tape over his nails. Besides that, I have nothing. I have nervous habits. Which then makes me realize that this kid will probably have OCD like me. Good times.