Jesus, God and Heaven

Tonight, I am listening to Jack and Nick discuss where God and Jesus are.

Some of Jack's thoughts:
Is it next to the earth?
Is it all over the place?
I think it's on a big cloud.
Why does he bring the water down and makes the plants grow?

Of course, then the subject went from plants to Plants vs. Zombies. Now, these are questions I might be able to answer.

"My baby"

Jack had a sick day today, which means that Nick took a sick day today. On the sick day, Nick and Jack headed downstairs to look for stuff for Ellie. They found the old bouncy seat Jack use to play in. So Dad brought it upstairs. We showed Jack a lot of videos from when he was a baby, and so he wanted to get his baby (he has his own doll). Every hour or so, Jack would walk over to his baby and the seat and sang to his baby.

I took pics and video. I'll post something later.

Vagina

So baby girl is getting bigger and kicking my ass (literally), cervix, and you know, everything else. When this happens, I say out loud to Nick, "VAGINA" (and to myself because I spend a lot of time with myself). I figured the word "vagina" was better than saying "fuck" or "shit".

And that is my blog for this evening. Very exciting stuff.

More exciting news (as exciting as a worm moving across the concrete after a rain)... I did have a shower and then a doctor's appointment today. I get wheeled to the office instead of walk, so I don't talk that much. I am still amazed at how exhausted I am after those two activities. I do wonder how long it will take me to get energized again. I like to believe that once Ellie is out, I will be able to pick most of my energy back up right away.

This having babies thing...

Lately, I have read many thoughts about mother's day and friends fertility struggles. In the last year, I have learned more about friends who have had miscarriages and premature babies - some who have survived and some who have not. I know some who want to have the experience of parenthood, but for some reason or another, do not get the chance. And stories of those who have had some time with their children only to outlive them. To bring even more frustration to the situation, I have also heard some really shitty stories lately of people who treat their kids like crap, when there are others who would jump at the chance to give those same kids love.

If you have experienced any of those things, you can feel the pain that others have experienced. And if you haven't, you can still empathize because you understand that intense feeling of love for someone else. I really truly wish with everything I have that things would work out for those who want the experience.

The problem with not being a religious woman is that I know my thoughts don't do much except let someone know I'm thinking of them; whereas those, who believe in a higher power, believe that someone else is going to make things better. And that is something I envy.

I hope this post does not offend; it is meant to show support. Take care out there.

Out of practice

So you can tell I am out of practice with this parenting thing.

Nick can get Jack to do almost anything with a little motivation. He using more options than he does discipline, but he uses discipline very appropriately (i.e. taking a toy away for not listening). He doesn't hesitate to give a consequence and for that, Jack listens better.

I, on the other hand, stink at the consequence thing. I can tell; when Nick is not around, I am the wishy-washy parent who has that second of hesitation to take something away; or I can't come up with choices or use humor appropriately to motivate. I am out of practice. And that guilt, that I'm not suppose to be experiencing but is really there anyway, well, that is keeping me from being the parent I should be. Because all I feel like doing is nuturing and loving and cuddling. This is the last bit of time it's just going to be the three of us, and being stuck in bed is not how I imagined spending those final days.

But is the way it worked out, and I need to figure out this parenting thing again; or else I am screwed.

Now, I am going back to watching this corny Miss Marple movie made in the 60s with the funny 60s music. Maybe I'll sew a lily pad or two this morning. Jack's birthday is only 11 days away. Holy Canoli.

I am...

P.O.O.P.E.D.

and haven't done much but take a shower.

Another Amendment

I'm only a whiny bitch midway through the day. If you want to interact with me, feel free to do it before 12pmish. ;)

Just to warn you...

I'm going to be the whiniest bitch for the next 5 weeks (at least). I feel uncomfortable and sick; laying down 24/7 only makes me think about every feeling in my body. So, I'm sorry ahead of time. Hopefully, if I make it off bedrest, I will be so ecstatic that the adrenaline from getting out of bed will make me ignore all signs of discomfort.

But feel free to stop talking to me for the next 5 weeks. I would if I could. :)

My good boys

So, Nick and I have different religious beliefs, but as Jack's father, he has every right to teach him what he believes in. I am not ready to go into detail about my beliefs because that will be confusing, and I think there will be a period in our children's lives when questioning their faith in a belief system will happen.

Anyway, every night Nick does bedtime, which lately is every night, the boys pray. Jack is learning about Jesus, who he is, how he exists... stuff like that. Tonight Jack prayed that God and Jesus stay here until Ellie gets here and then they can go to other babies to be with them.

I like that my son is thoughtful and loves his little sister even before he's met her. That's the moral of this story.

Happy Mother's Day

Nick told me he had something very special planned for me this morning:
Breakfast in Bed.

Happy Mother's Day!