Saturdays with the Rogers

The boys and I are chatting on the computer. Love video calling. But all I want to do is go home.

Dinner with the boys

Am i glad my husband is a computer nerd. Not only do I find the computer geek persona sexy, but he also has set me up with a webcam so I can talk to him and Jack. Here is what our dinner looked like tonight.

My cheesy eggs were a little crispy on the outside spongy on the inside. The biscuits were pretty good. But the boys looked like they enjoyed their Rosati's pizza. I enjoyed not wondering if food was going to be spilled, how long I had with the boys, wondering if Jack was going to be able to enjoy his evening. I got to watch Jack play and laugh and have fun in the comfort of his home, and Nick be able to relax and get stuff done before bedtime. It was good.

My OCD List

Things I would love to work on now that's it's spring and knowing that once Ellie is here, I will be busy and tired in the beginning:

Reorganize the garage - maybe add some hanging shelves to make more room on the floor.

Get the baby room ready and get the baby stuff out of the storage.

Reorganize the storage room.

Mulch the garden beds.

But first, weed the garden beds and remove the dead parts of the perennials.

Put a patio table on the back porch.

Plant in the little garden Jack and I started last year.

Purge/donate some thing that haven't been used in over a year.

Replace Jack's curtains and furniture so there is only three main colors in his room. Green, white and black.

Replace the blinds in the house. We got an estimate from the Blind Man, and man is it expensive.

Get a proper haircut, manicure and pedicure.

Scrapbook 4 years worth of stuff.

Paint the light behind the garage brown - it's the only one left.

Figure out which toys Jack doesn't play with anymore. Put those away to make room for the baby stuff.

Go shopping for Jack's birthday supplies.

Anyone want to help me with me OCD, let me know. ;) Honestly, it makes me feel a little less anxious just putting the list out there.

The food lady

The dietician was in this morning. She asked me about my weight and my appetite. She asked if they were weighing me daily. It was really good times. I wanted to tell her to stuff it in the nicest way possible.

Tonight's report

Here are a few thoughts for the night:

1. We really can't do dinners here. Nick is tormented (although he won't say so) by picking up food, driving here, getting into the labor/delivery unit (he waited 15 minutes outside the door) and keeping a child from spilling food/drink. I am tormented by his torment. It's easier to each separate. And that will have to be ok with me.

2. My parents will never understand that the are not only a great help but also a great stress factor. I had 3 contractions while on the phone with them tonight.

3. I plan on stuffing my face with oreos. As one of the nurses joked, "Food is all you have control over right now."

4. Based on a rule from Kelly and Neil, I am allowed 24 hours of suckage. I have used up about 8 of those. Can I save the other hours for a different day, or is it a use it or lose it thing?

Bedrest Day 51

I was originally going to call the blog, "the father, the son, and the incompetent cervix" but my sister suggested the mother and daughter - because really it's the two of us stuck here together.

Day 51 of bedrest. Today sucks. But I'm starting not to feel sad like I did earlier. I don't feel sorry for myself. I just feel kinda pissy and scared. Pissy because I want to be with my boys. Pissy that I can't have a normal pregnancy. Pissy that I can't nest and make things in my house just so. Pissy because I have no control over anything accept for what side of my body I lay on. And scared that something will happen to Ellie. I want so much to make her a given for our future, but I am scared to believe that she won't be, and I will have to deal with the loss of a child.

Nick rocks. He is a trooper and a great dad. I realize that his role has come to be because of a choice we both made, but it is still hard. He's single parenting it, working, dealing with a wife who is emotional and hormonal and demanding daily diet cokes. And he stays patient and calm and loving. He's running his ship tight, so if he doesn't accept help from others, it's because he has things just the way he can handle them.

Jack rocks. Besides a few normal emotional moments, the kid is a rock star. He is having fun at school and at Miss Kelly's house, who, besides Nick, he spends most of his time with. He's taking the initiative to stuff on his own. I feel like I'm missing out on so much with him. People say this is only for a short time, but they also say that those 18 years with your kids go by fast, too. So, that is why I don't want to miss out. I am happy to say that he is still very excited to meet Ellie. I was worried that he would resent her, but he is super psyched and wants her to come out now; we've tried to explain the science of maternity to him, but he doesn't care.

I'll try not to post monologues. I have random thoughts throughout the day. Things I need to do, goofy things that pop in my mind. I'll post them.