So I was going to type about my issues with missing being good at something. But I found out what I was good at. Getting pissy. I was on Facebook before bed, when I read a "friends" status. He is a Christian man (minister, I think) who said that... wait, here's his exact wording:
"is disgusted after seeing a commercial on TV which advertised a dating service specifically for those who are married. The website has links to articles from Oprah Winfrey's website which promote and explain away infidelity and adultery. Amazi...ng. I'm so glad I'm a Christian, and I'm so glad I'm married to a great woman..."
Now, while would also be disgusted by the same kind of advertisement, I am insulted by the insinuation that married Christians don't cheat. While I may not practice any religion, I believe I have a decent moral compass. I have a sense of right from wrong; I try to be ethical; I try to be honest; I try to be trustworthy. It is frustrating to be told that if you do not have a higher power to keep you in line that you are, for lack of a better word, fallen.
Well, I challenge his comment saying that even Christians cheat and that is was more about what kind of moral compass you have and how you truly love your companion. So I didn't go quietly. But again, I was frustrated by another person's comment (who I don't know) who said:
"It is sad that so many people are looking for a justification for sin. Satan takes many forms, uses many people and mediums to accomplish his objectives. We as Christians have to be diligent not bring that into our homes and to teach others God's word. So they can be aware of Satan's devices and resist them. Those of us who have Chritain marriages need to Thank God daily for the blessing and gift of our spouses. I pray daily that He helps me to be the kind of wife He commands and that I can be worthy of my husband"
Well, I guess that means that I have a sucky marriage. And Satan has his hands all over me. Grrrr.
I am not trying to insult my religious friends. Shit, I feel like I do when I do this stuff. But life is not as simple as following words of a book, which may have been inspired by a devine being and written by flawed fallable human beings. Life is not clear cut. It's messy. you try your best at it. But I believe that it's possible for anyone to live a good life, even without a higher power guiding them. And even the "best of them" fall sometimes. Dude, even Jesus got this stuff.
I understand your frustration with the idea that Christian automatically = good, when obviously that hasn't proven true for most of the history of the religion. I think most reasonable people, who are also Christian, understand that all people, regardless of their religious faith or non-faith, are all able to make good and bad choices equally. I think it's in poor taste to think that anyone is "better" than anyone else, particularly when it comes to matters of the heart.
ReplyDeleteI know I've made some bad choices in my own relationships. But it certainly doesn't mean that my moral compass is out of whack. It just means that the choices I make regarding my life depend greatly on the individual, cultural and societal norms that I've accepted or created.
Making decisions (and I have no problem with people who want to have open marriages having them -- whatever floats their boats) requires understanding consequences and living with yourself after you make choices. If you can do that, then everyone else, regardless of their religious or self-imposed moral compasses, need to stop trying to inject their values on other people.
Or, for more clearly for those who are fluent in Star Wars speak, "Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view."
And to some people, an open marriage isn't morally objectionable.
Well put, my friend. I wasn't even thinking about the open marriage thing. If it's mutual, it's really difficult for me to say that it's wrong considering that I don't have to live that marriage. Maybe they're happy; maybe they're not. But it's their lives.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'm pretty sure bringing up open marriage wouldn't have worked in this context. ;)
You should have talked to Loretta about this last night. Apparently, at the wedding she was at over the weekend had several statements about "the only happy marriage is the one where God is first" and how "no one can have a happy marriage if God doesn't exist at the center of the marriage" She was appalled!
ReplyDeleteAnd uh, Ditto what Loosey said! :)
Yeah, it always bothers me when people's facebook status are about how God blessed us with good weather and God saw fit to make me a teacher, God provided me my wonderful wife and family, etc.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's just me, but I get the creeps. If there is a God (or many gods) I really hope they're too damn busy than to be taking time to fuck with the weather for someone's trip to the zoo, ya know?
oh, I know, I feel the same way. why would a god only bless certain people and punish others - even his/her good followers. wait, did I say punish? I meant test. i have to tell you, I have been so tempted to challenge some people further, but I feel bad imposing on others when I don't like being imposed on. however, the sucker chose to be my friend. do you think they keep me as a friend to try to save me?
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say, is that I know more than a dozen "good Christian" men who cheat on their wives. It amazes me. These are men who are going to bible camps with their kids, attending mass every week, traveling with their church to do good deeds in other areas of the nation, and who pray before dinner.
ReplyDeleteI just wonder how they justify it all. Doesn't their belief system, (the commandments) forbid this?
I don't really care what people do in their private life. But if you are going to preach it, you should practice it.
That status sounds like something one of my relatives would put up! I know they are all "praying" for us all the time, cause we don't go to church and aren't raising the boys with any religion, but it makes me so mad that they think they are somehow better than us because they are "christians" yet they are some of the nastiest people. I don't see how reading a bible and going to church somehow gives you a "free pass" for how you treat others. After Mike finally found a job, he said something about being lucky that they called him, and my aunt replied "oh it wasn't luck we were all praying!" yeah , I just don't think I buy that!
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