The Art of Honesty

You know what is great about kids - they are honest without filter. If you ask their opinion about something, they will most likely give it to you. "Do you want to play with so-in-so?" "NO," they may reply. Part of you is embarassed. Part of you is envious. Part of you is flustered but what you are going to do next. Curious J has done this to me a good number of times. And he is excellent at doing this in front of the parent or child. And sometimes, he doesn't need asking. Sometimes he just gives his opinion freely. He called a nurse "old" when she was taking Blue Eyes' blood once.. She was elderly, but did he really have to say it out loud? Fortunately, she laughed at it and said to me, "I bet this is an embarassing moment for you."

There are a few people I am happy to say I can be brutally honest with. A handful. And while they end up getting my honest answer, which they may or many not like, they are also aware of what I really think. No second guessing. And sadly, they get the shaft because I can tell them what you really want or feel. Whereas with others, I have to put my happy face on and lie. In laws, parents, friends, hair stylists, servers... it comes at any level. And why do we have to be so polite to the point of bending over backwards or sacrificing our own comfort. We choose living with unhappiness over living with guilt of rejection or honesty. When a server brings you the wrong side, do you say anything? When your MIL gives you a gift you don't really care for it, and she asks your opinion, do you tell the truth? When you just don't feel like going out with a friend, but you know saying no will likely lead to a conversation or harassment, do you go just to avoid confrontation? When you child has a birthday party coming up with only so many children allowed invited, do you allow your child to invite the kids he wants? Do you add to the list even if you didn't budget for the increase? (Yeah, we are getting close to that issue.)

Are you feeling awkward reading this? Knowing that you are guilting of some of these things. And yet, I hate that I can't be honest. Not rude. Honest. Because there is a difference between hurting someone's feelings and potentially hurting someone's feelings because you know what you are giving them in your appeasing lie isn't benefiting them or you. You will just end up with resentment

So, I will say this to you. If you find me being honest, please don't take it as wanting to hurt your feelings, but as a compliment for trying to have a real relationship with you.