I don't have post title. It just seems stupid to put one in right now.

I am looking for a fight. You know how they talk about the 5 stages of grief. Besides the depression stage today, I'm in anger right now... not with any friends or family. I'm looking for a fight with strangers who are doing something stupid to other people or to me. I'm hoping to bump into old "friends" who will say something stupid so I can get angry back.

I also spoiled my kid with toys today. He doesn't need anymore; but it felt good for about 10 minutes. I'm getting my highs where I can right now.

Speaking of highs, I'm trying to decide between stuffing my face or not eating anything. It's weird. I know my body is hungry, but I don't FEEL hunger. I either want to starve or stuff my face with crap. I know it doesn't make sense, but right now, I don't make sense.

I gotta give huge praise to BDR. He is taking care of J and J's little fits. He's letting me be weird and not making me feel bad about it. He's letting me make all the decision about this and is being 100% supportive of the choices I make. I have learned that I feel closer to him from this experience.