On Sunday, Ellie was not moving a lot. During her monitoring session, her heart beat would slow down and then come back up immediately. It made me uncomfortable knowing that if something were to go wrong, there was nothing I could do about it.
However, for the past two days, this little girl has been moving up a storm. Yesterday, I could feel either her butt or her head keep flipping on my left side. Today, she is back but stretched out more. I would bed to say that her butt is on my left abdomen and her feet are in my right ribs. I love it.
It's so hard to imagine her as real most of the time. I think I don't want to get my heart broken so I am not spending tons of time talking to her one on one. Criticize me, but it feels like a coping mechanism. What if something does go wrong? I am so close to the goal I can almost taste it, but something things don't play out the way you want. I know I sound pessimistic, but when you are left alone with your thoughts and no quality daytime tv, worrying ensues - well for those who are genetically linked to my parents and their parents.
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